Mst3k 210 – First Spaceship to Venus

I really was expecting more from this episode. It’s not bad, I just found it very…forgettable. Even while I was watching it made little impression on me, and now I find it makes even less looking back.
The story is that a mysterious spool of mechanical thread is found in the desert, which they somehow figure out is from Venus. So, naturally, the world mounts an expedition to Venus. There’s some stuff that happens on the way, then they get there and do sciency stuff, and they discover that the Venusians accidentally wiped themselves out with their own weapons, there are a few crises, and finally they return home minus three of the crew who die at the end.
The movie itself actually wasn’t that bad; I think it might be interesting to watch on its own, actually. There are some good ideas here and the action is fairly restrained (thought a scene involving attacking slime is pretty goofy). The riffing is pretty solid, though rather sparse and, again, not very memorable for the most part. Sorry; this is really a pretty ‘blah’ episode for me and I don’t have much to say about it. There are some decent host segments along the way, especially Tom’s ‘Sarcasm Sequencer,’ which ends just as it was starting to get annoying, and the bots trying to build a robot. Otherwise, nothing much to say.

Thoughts While Watching:

Opening: Servo’s sarcasm sequencer is increased. It’s a pretty amusing sketch; Kevin Murphy has a tour-de-force.

Invention Exchange: Joel warns the Mads off from copying his invention and invents the junk-drawer helper; a junk-drawer starter kit (they’ll revisit this idea in a few seasons). The Mads try to find their invention in their junk-drawer. Several amusing bits; and they find Abe Vigoda at the bottom.

I like them acting sad as the titles fly off into the distance.

Opening narration; mention the Tunguska Blast and claim it was a spaceship.

Funny bit where they have a reporter hitting on a camerawoman while they wait for a scientist.

Dr. Orlaf: “I’m referring, naturally, to the spool which may contain a document of great importance in an unknown language, recorded apparently by magnetic process.”
Crow: “Naturally.”

Narrator mispronounces ‘Einstein’ as ‘Einshtein’

I love how the linguists automatically seem to be able to translate the alien language the instant they hear it.

(on radio operators in arctic gear)
Crow: “This is apartment 12b; can you send up some heat?”

Funny bit where a spinning radar device looks like it’s about to hit the characters…several times.

Repoter: “This is intavision calling the world.”
Crow: “Hi, this is the World; I’m not in right now, but…”

I love how in these movies NASA immediately decides to send manned missions to mysterious and possibly hostile planets.

Pilot: “How about you showing us your latest creation in robots?”
Crow: How about you shutting up and letting me get a word in edgewise!”

We meet the ‘cute’ robot. It’s basically a head on treads with a difficult-to-understand voice and a goofy little face. Crow puts it best.
Crow: “What a stupid robot!”

(pilot sees the female member of the expedition)
Pilot: “Tsumiko!”
Crow: “I will as soon as my lawyer gets here.”

Tsumiko: “Have a changed that much?”
Joel: “Yeah, you used to be a Swedish man!”

Wait, to make sure the crew is in good condition for their take-off in less than two days they put them in suspended animation? They’re a little paranoid, aren’t they?

Joel: “Oh, tell her you love her, yah big galoot!”

(seeing the extras have letters on the shirts)
Servo: “The whole alphabet is there. They’re going to spell out ‘good-bye, suckers!’”

Servo (on the goofy space-suits): “This is the day the teddy-bears fly to Venus!”

Spaceship’s design is completely ridiculous, but kinda cool.

First host Segment: The bots make a robot. It doesn’t do anything apart from foaming at the mouth, but it’s cool nonetheless. At least, the bots think so. The foam covers them as the commercials roll. A fun sketch.

Of course they hit a meteorite swarm! Every space movie has meteorites!

(as a guy talks into a thin microphone)
Joel: “Mr. Toothbrush, you’re the only one who understands me.”

Robot plays chess with other guy.

(on the robot)
Tsumiko: “If he only had a heart.”
Crow: “A brain,”
Joel: “A home,”
Servo: “da neurve.”

(guy setting up chessboard is interrupted by the ship rocking)
Crow: “Aw, he’ll do anything to win!”

And there are the meteors!

Scientist: “We’ll have to go outside to repair it.”
Crow: “Outside? In this weather?”

(on spacewalk)
Crow: “Hey, look at him squirm out there! That’s our Bob!”

(on the odd, clucking sound effect)
Servo: “Can somebody shoot that turkey?”

Yeah, does chess-guy have a job?

Linguist: “We have finally deciphered the last part of the spool; it gives meaning to the entire document.”
Servo: “It says blulalafjalfjalejfhelflaeflkj!”

(after an indecipherable playback of the spool)
Joel: “Uh, it gets better.”

I like how the usual ‘people will panic’ excuse is refuted.

Second Host Segment: They’re visited by an alien gorilla. It’s a pretty funny sketch as Crow and Servo debate how to react.

Scientist: “I’ll go in the crawler-copter.”
Crow: “Oh, the crawler-copter, that’s your answer to everything!”

(as scientist takes off to land on Venus)
Crow:”heh heh; ah, the guy’s lunch-meat. Hi, Bill! He’s got no idea what I’m saying to him. You look good! Haha! He’s dead. Good luck! He’ll never see his family again. Way to go sport! He’ll be vaporized within the hour. We’re with you! Haha, sucker.”

Scientist: “I’m not receiving you.”
Servo: “I’m getting the ‘Ha!’ channel.”

Servo: “At least we have our ‘Ewok’ suits to cheer us up.”

Damn, and I thought the first words on Nova were lame; the first words on Venus are ‘Omega, you take the lead.’

Scientist (to robot): “How long can we stay here?”
Crow: “About…three minutes…ago.”

(on some really weird toy-like aliens)
Joel (hilarious little voice): “Come on, smart-boy, try your hand! Go ahead! I sit at the right hand of the devil; I am evil incarnate!”

Joel: “We are the planet of novelty items!”

Funny bit where the landing spaceship lands RIGHT ON the guy they sent down (he’s in a hole, so he survives, but still; what’re the odds?

Joel: “We make excellent stocking-stuffers, you shall come to know that in time!”

(on the weird screaming sound the scientist is showing off)
Servo: “Oh, yeah, that’s really significant.”

Scientist: “Where are the inhabitants? They saw our spaceship land, they couldn’t have missed it, and yet nothing has happened!”
Servo: “Oh, maybe there’s a ballgame on.”

Narrated montage of work…

Narrator: “The storms which whip across Venus only make the work harder.”
Crow (close up of crew member): “You know these winds only make the work harder!”

Crew Member: “That’s where the lines lead, alright; there’s no doubt.”
Servo: “I know; I was a meter-man once.”

(Camera drifts downwards)
Servo: “Uh, I think you need to tighten the wind-nut on that camera!”

Scientist: “I think that a terrible catastrophe occurred on Venus.”
Servo: “Yeah, you guys arrived.”

Humorously abrupt cut…

They follow a power cable looking for life…

Joel: “Huh. Hell from on high; that’s not supposed to happen.”

(In front of a huge opening)
Crew member: “This must be the entrance.”
Servo: “Oh what was your first clue, butthead?”

Servo: “Someone with a very different vision made this movie guys.”

So, they go down into the building, accidentally kick a rock into some magma-like stuff, and it starts collapsing and the magma comes after them…

Joel (watching the chaos): “Hey give them a break, they just stepped on a rock.”

Crow: “Brown 25: Building Block of the future.”

Servo (on the syrup-like gunk): “Mrs. Butterworth’s going to have a lot of explaining to do.”

The guy shoots something at it and it goes away.

Crow: “Looks like someone stands corrected on that ‘don’t shoot’ line.”

(guy pulls out toothbrush-like device to record an evil alien device)
Crow: “The magic toothbrush will save them; go, Tuppy go!”

Third Host Segment: Klack food commercial. It’s pretty amusing with odd, unappetizing recipes and some cut still images.

So there’s a crisis; the landing site is about to blow up or something, and half the crew is hours away.

Actually creepy bit where they see the shadows of Venusians killed in an atomic blast. This is a creepy phenomenon to begin with, and works well enough here.

Wait, so those crew members hours away are back suddenly; so much for tension.

And they start talking; I guess there was no crisis.

Anyway, the Venusians are all dead, but since one of the crew stepped on a rock it started the automatic attack sequence against Earth. I think.

Crow: “Oh, the rock! Will you let that die!”

The robot goes nuts!

Joel (as the robot): “Bedebedebede taste my steel.”

They can’t take off…of course. And there’s only one chance.

(Guy working in collection of wires and circuits)
Crow: “Hey, I think I found my class ring!”

Guy gets his suit punctured. And the crisis is over (though now they try to save punctured suit guy).

Crow: “Aw sure they’re all gonna die, but it looks cool!”

Crow: “Rocketing off the charts with that immortal hit, it’s ‘Bob’s Death.’”

Rocket gets hurled into space involuntarily.

So, linguist dies, black-guy gets left behind.

Mission control lady: “At the moment there is no reply.”
Crow: “There’s an angry black gentleman on line one.”

Servo (as newscast): “Attention Mr. and Mrs. North America and all the ships at sea; gutless astronauts left friends on planet; returning today!”

And they have a triumphal return! Great.

Servo (singing along to the music): “This is the song that we sing when you come home from Venus!”

Crew member: “Talloway saved the expedition from disaster.”
Crow: “And then became compost”

Crew Member: “and Brinkman,”
Joel: “Screamed like a baby when we flew off and left him.”

Crow (as scientist): “My one piece of advice; do not have the Venusian poo-poo platter.”

(random woman starts making out with crew member)
Crow: “Hey who’s this? Who are you? Hey, get her off me!”

Final Host Segment: They discuss the movie; Crow liked it, Joel is depressed, Servo is sarcastic. Servo gets so sarcastic his head explodes. Letters. Ends with a Monty Python reference from Tom. Not bad. Dr. F throws up in the junk drawer.

Stinger: Oddly-dressed crowd waving good-bye. Certainly an oddly amusing moment. No complaints here.

Movie Quality Rating:

1. The Crawling Eye
2. The Black Scorpion
3. Mad Monster
4. Lost Continent
5. First Spaceship to Venus
6. Rocketship XM
7. Moon Zero Two
8. The Crawling Hand
9. Catalina Caper
10. King Dinosaur
11. Jungle Goddess
12. Wild Rebels
13. The Corpse Vanishes
14. Ring of Terror
15. Untamed Youth
16. The Slime People
17. Project Moonbase
18. The Sidehackers
19. Women of the Prehistoric Planet
20. Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy
21. Hellcats
22. Rocket Attack USA
23. Robot Holocaust
24. Robot Monster

Conclusion: Decent riffing, decent host segments, and decent movie, but somehow it all doesn’t come together into a memorable episode.

Final Rating: 6/10.