This is a rather unusual episode in that they’re riffing an intentional comedy. Catalina Caper (AKA, Never Steal Anything Wet) tells the rather disjointed story of a group of thieves; a married couple and their dim-witted, bright-hatted sidekick, Lawrence, who steal a valuable scroll (with embarrassing ease) from an art museum, intending on copying it, selling it to an evil art-dealer/millionaire named Lakopolous (I had to look it up; the name sounds different every time someone says it), then returning the scroll to the museum while all concerned are on vacation in Catalina. This is hardly a fool-proof plan, and it goes south when they lose the genuine scroll. They then stage a dive party for some local teens, hoping they’ll find the scroll. Well, they do, but the bad guys show up and take it. There’s some very confusing switching and trickery (I couldn’t keep track of which scroll was fake and which was real) and in the end the scroll gets put back, the friendly-thief family gets off the hook, and Lakopolous leaves his henchman to drown.
That’s only about half the movie, though; the rest deals with the teenagers (lead by Tommy Kirk playing ‘Don Pringle’) as they swim, flirt and, most of all, ‘dance’ to some generally awful music. Little Richard has a cameo and Robert Donner is on hand playing a goofy investigator who contributes nothing but a bunch of generally unfunny pratfalls. So, a lot of very bad dancing and bad music, plus a lot of failed comedy makes this a pretty bad movie.
With that being said, however, I personally found it to be pretty inoffensive. To me it was like a joke told by a six-year-old; it’s not at all funny or clever, but it’s too harmless to really bother about. I found I actually kind of enjoyed the movie when it focused on the thief family and the dancing was far off screen. Again, it’s pretty harmless and even a little amusing at times.
Riff wise, this is a pretty good episode, especially given the limitations brought by the fact that the move itself is a comedy. Jokes about how confusing the movie is and the beach-antics are pretty good, as is Tom Servo’s love-at-first-sight with the ‘Creepy Girl;’ an accented beauty who captures Tommy Kirk’s heart. On the other hand, there is a very annoying series of ‘white-male-reality’ jokes which quite frankly don’t fit the movie at all (more on that below).
Host segments are generally pretty good; the best being Tom’s song about the Creepy Girl. So, all in all, a pretty fun little episode.
Thoughts while watching:
Opening: The Bots say their prayers. The mostly pray for other robots. And they look so cute in their little pajamas.
Invention: Dr. F. “We don’t want you to pray for us, we want you to pray to us!” Mads invention: Tank Tops; the latest in fashion artillery. Joel: Tickle Bazooka. They’re both pretty good, but I prefer the Mads’ invention.
Wow, it’s kind of weird to see a real logo with these movies (here it’s Warner Brothers)
Like ‘Moon Zero Two’ this one opens with an animated credit sequence. This one has much more to do with the movie, though.
(as the movie cuts from animated to live action)
Joel: “Wow, that is really good animation.”
Crow: “Meanwhile in a dark, impenetrable void, Jean-Paul Sartre was a-moving and a-groving.”
Servo: “No exit, baby!”
Come on! That statue was right in front of him and he ran into it?
Don (introducing himself): “Don Pringle”
Crow: “Heir to the potato chip fortune.”
Man, Don’s friend only needs an armband to look exactly like a stereotypical Nazi.
Don meets the Creepy Girl, who is really pretty. Tom Servo falls for her too. He’s kissing her a lot!
I’m almost afraid to ask why the girls find Nazi-guy so attractive.
Little Richard shows up! I assume he’s a real celebrity, but I’m not familiar with him at all, not being a fan of that type of music (and don’t ask me what type it is; party music, I guess).
And the kids all ‘dance.’ It’s gotten even worse from the dancing in ‘Untamed Youth;’ here they just kind of stand in one place and jerk around in a completely unrhythmical fashion.
Crow: “Little Richard; the only genuine talent in this film.”
Yeah, he’s pretty clearly a professional entertainer, and as such is not bad to watch.
And three girls immediately latch onto Nazi-guy.
Now we get the plot, such as it is.
Wife (to Lawrence): “You’re a credit to your profession.”
Crow: “Village idiot.”
Okay, there’s a goofy guy here watching the thieves who does a lot of lame pratfalls.
Lawrence: “How come a millionaire like Dino Lakopolous wants to be a crook?”
Joel: “’Cause he’s un-scropulous!”
So, here’s the plan; they steal a valuable Scroll, copy it, sell the copy to Lakopolous and return the real one. This doesn’t really sound like a sound plan to me (what happens when Lakopolous hears that the scroll’s been returned?)
First Host Segment: Joel on the sixties. This is a pretty popular one, but it doesn’t do too much for me. It’s amusing, but not great; it gets better as it goes on, especially Joel going off the rails towards the end. Maybe you had to live in the sixties or at least not utterly loathe them.
And Nazi-guy’s sister shows up as a beta romantic interest.
Servo (on goofy-guy): “Thank goodness his briefcase is a personal flotation device.”
Really, the thief family is pretty pleasant; I like them. Except for the fact that the father has some really weird speech patterns.
Joel (as thief kid): “You know Dad, Mom is really hot."
Tad (thief-guy’s son): “When you talk like that, I know you’re up to no good.”
Crow: “And when you smell like that, somebody must die!”
Joel buffs Lakopolous’ head! (he’s bald, of course)
Servo (as girl snuggles up to Lakopolous): “Hi, Kaiser Wilhelm, you kooky monarch!”
(as Don bursts back up after a scuba-diving attempt)
Joel: “Ah, it’s all blue and wet and stuff!”
(after weird sound-effect)
Joel: “Oh, that’s my watch, it does that every half-hour.”
Crow (bubbly-voice as a diver surfaces): “Hey, there’s a world out there!”
Okay, bad guy scubas out to the thief boat, tries to get the scroll, there’s a struggle, and the tube with the scroll goes into the ocean.
And Don goes after the fleeing bad guy…and Nazi guy goes after him.
Now there’s an under-water fight…bad guy wins by taking off Don’s respirator.
Joel: “Oh, look they’re standing four a-breast.”
(I think you can guess the context here)
Joel: “Gee, what a wimp; can’t even take a seasoned diver with a knife.”
(as they climb onto the boat)
Crow: “I’m afraid you boys will find only evil here.”
Theif: “Larry will you please settle down!”
Crow: “Get married, have some kids, and take that ridiculous hat off!”
Second Host Segment: Tom Servo sings the fifties-style Creepy Girl Song. This is a great song and a really good demonstration of just how good Kevin Murphy’s voice is; he can really hit those high notes. Joel and Crow dance in the background.
And another dance scene. Man this dancing sucks.
Oh, and Nazi guy picks up two more chicks! Come on, he’s not even attractive! He’s just creepy (and not like the Creepy Girl)!
Yeah, the band isn’t very good here (the one guy kind of looks like an adult Eddie Haskell…)
(on the band)
Crow: “I think they sent the wrong people to ‘Nam.”
Joel: “Could someone do us a favor and push that guy’s amp into the water?”
And they split to the beach for volleyball.
Servo (as Don sits oddly on the beach): “Darn and I forgot my shins.”
Yeah, I know Creepy Girl is attractive (and Servo immediately claims her), but they’re not exactly starved of attractive female company here, so the scenes where she comes in and everyone stops to gape at her are pretty stupid even for this film.
Servo threatens to take all the kids on over the Creepy Girl.
Crow (as Nazi-guy’s sister grabs Tad): “Remember that ‘last man on Earth’ thing I told you? Well it’s time.”
Servo tries to get into the movie to help Creepy Girl (she lost her bikini top).
Crow: “Join the party and we will rule the world!”
(during a low-angle shot of bad-guy)
Crow: “And I’m a thousand feet tall!”
Ah, the standard jerk fiancée; you always have to wonder with guys like this why the girl ever got engaged in the first place.
(as the Creepy Girl sits down with the group)
Crow: “Hello lower-life forms.”
And sister pretends to drown to redirect attention onto herself; goofy-guy gets there first. Hilarity ensues.
Crow (as sister): “Oh, saved…by the stinky guy!”
Somehow this makes all the girls turn on their guys.
Crow: “This is like a strange version of ‘Lysistrata’”
And goofy-guy snags a bikini. Ha ha.
Sigh. The girls and guys stand on opposite sides of the boat, the music starts up and they make up while dancing.
God, this dancing makes me want to shoot someone! It’s just wrong! And the worst part is I know that dancing will get even worse over the next few decades! Arrggh!
Servo (as the music staggers): “Oh, sounds like the tape’s being eaten.”
Now a random girl we’ve never seen before sings a particularly bad song.
Okay, I’ve got to say this: they’re making WAY too big an issue of the ‘whiteness’ of the cast. Guys, it doesn’t make the movie racist just because it has an all-white cast (with the exception of Little Richard’s cameo) and was made before 1970; it’s just a stupid beach movie, alright? I don’t see a single thing in the film to legitimately label it as racist. The last movie was racist, this one isn’t. Just stick with jabbing at stuff that is actually there, alright? Quite frankly, I found their repeated ‘white-male-reality’ jokes to be much more offensive than anything in the film itself.
Crow: “Why did the ‘Titanic’ have to sink and this didn’t”
(over a shot of a bunch of kids lying on the beach)
Crow: “The youth of today spent like so many shell-cases on the battlefield of love!”
Thief guy comes up with a plan to stage a scuba-party to find the lost scroll. It’s actually not a bad idea.
Servo (as a girl-scuba-diver surfaces): “Hey everybody, I found a new script! And this one’s funny!”
(as the bad-guy-scuba-divers surface)
Crow: “We’re here to spoil everything.”
Man, really weird bit where the goofy-guy gets sick and hallucinates a band at the bottom of the ocean.
Third Host Segment: Joel has to field-strip Crow to fix his sarcasm sequencer (he rips his arms off!) Cut to Deep 13 for Frank’s Tupperware party with the Mole People. Dr. F. get’s Frank’s name wrong! Frank keeps spilling stuff on Dr. F. It’s kind of amusing, but not great, and goes on a little long. Is this the first time Dr. F. maims Frank?
Is it wrong that I like the bad guy’s beating up Nazi-guy?
And the thieves are loudly talking about their plan in front of the kids.
The kids come up with a plan; Nazi-guy is reluctant because he’s worried about loosing his ‘good-looks.’
Crow: “For those of your following along with the ‘Seigfield Screenplay Workbook,’ that last scene was the plot-point setting up the third act. Now this.”
Uh, sister? I don’t think the middle of a dangerous mission is the right place to have a heart-to-heart apology.
Creepy Girl: “Angelo, what are you doing here?”
Servo: “Working, being evil.”
They get Angelo (Creepy Girl’s evil ex-fiancée), other bad guy runs off with the scroll. Don runs off in pursuit.
So, why does the bad guy run to the end of the pier? And since he has about two minutes to get out of the way, why does he let Goofy-guy run into him?
Goofy-Guy is an investigator after thief-guy. But they took the scroll out of the tube-thing, so he doesn’t get to arrest thief guy.
Tad puts the scroll back in a very obvious way. He just walks in and puts it back. He even talks to the security guard when he’s done!
And one more dance scene for the road; the kids are all paired off nicely: Don get’s Creepy Girl (sorry, Servo), Tad gets sister, Nazi-guy gets his three fan-girls, even Lawrence and Goofy-guy get chicks!
The ending, with Tad helping his parents out of trouble, is actually kind of sweet.
More dancing! Gah! Everyone dances!
Final Host Segment: figuring out the film.
Crow: “I had only one question really.”
Joel: “What?”
Crow: “What the Sam hill was going on?!”
Joel produces a chart of the film. I didn’t really find the film that confusing; it was just stupid and padded. Joel eventually gets frustrated and smashes the chart on the bots. He really was kind of mean sometimes. Now letters, of course. It’s actually a kind of nice letter; a couple who say they met and fell in love while watching Mst3k.
I just noticed Dr. F is eating Frank’s eye!
By the way, the sort of ‘Gyuhk-ewww!’ sound effect became a Frank trademark.
Movie Quality Rating:
1. The Crawling Eye
2. The Black Scorpion
3. Mad Monster
4. Rocketship XM
5. Moon Zero Two
6. The Crawling Hand
7. Catalina Caper
8. Jungle Goddess
9. The Corpse Vanishes
10. Untamed Youth
11. The Slime People
12. Project Moonbase
13. The Sidehackers
14. Women of the Prehistoric Planet
15. Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy
16. Robot Holocaust
17. Robot Monster
Conclusion: A difficult-to-riff movie, nevertheless riffed rather strongly (despite some jokes that don’t fit the film), with some decent host segments makes for a decent episode.
Final Rating: 6/10.
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