Jungle Goddess is, for me, a rather middle-of-the-road episode; it’s not brilliant, but it is very amusing and enjoyable; a nice ‘basic’ episode.
The story revolves around Bob and Mike; American charter pilots in Africa. Bob gets the idea for a get-rich-quick scheme to find a millionaire’s long-lost daughter, who had disappeared over the jungle at the start of WWII. Mike is reluctant, but Bob convinces him and they start their search. They land and are found by natives, one of whom Bob shoots (as Mike later says, he’s ‘a little trigger happy’). They get captured and brought before the White Goddess, Greta (who, of course, is the millionaire’s daughter they’re looking for), who sentences Bob to death. Mike and Greta talk and she tells him her story, plans to escape with them, and falls in love with Mike.
Meanwhile Bob, who is stupid and evil, wants to ditch the girl and shoot their way out with his revolver. They argue, fight, Bob ‘accidentally’ shoots another native and they have to flee. Bob beats up Mike and takes the gun, then when they’re back at the plane he attacks Mike again and gets a spear in his back from the evil Witch-Doctor (is there any other kind?). Mike and Greta escape and plan to return to strip mine the place and get rich.
The movie is preceded by a short; the first episode of ‘the Phantom Creeps’ starring Bela Lugosi. The serial itself is nowhere near as fun as ‘Commando Cody’ was, despite the presence of Bela and a giant robot; mostly it’s hampered by a very bad script, even for a serial, which is clunky in the extreme. Still, it’s not a total waste of time; Bela is always fun to watch and the guys have some fun with their Lugosi impersonation. Still, you can see why they’ll soon abandon serials.
The movie itself is kind of fun in an old-jungle-movie way (that is, your mileage will vary greatly depending on your tolerance for out-dated racial and cultural attitudes). Bob is so stupid and evil that you really have to wonder how he got any job or partner in the first place, and the movie has kind of a lazy, paint-by-numbers feel to it. The riffing is pretty good, particularly the many jokes at Bob’s expense and the occasional Superman joke (Mike is played by George Reeves). It gets a bit preachy at times, but considering the movie that’s not really to be wondered at. The host segments are generally pretty good, with the exception of the kind of lame ‘Bela’s OK discoveries’ one, which doesn’t really go anywhere. My favorite is the visit by the White Devils; Mike and Jim are hilarious.
It is also nice to see Kevin Murphy and Frank Coniff settling into their roles; both of them have great chemistry with Trace Beaulieu (for Murphy, this is particularly noticeable in the ‘scope’ sketch).
Thoughts While Watching:
Opening: Joel and the bots play hide-and-seek with the ‘elusive and inexplicable powers which govern the universe.’ Amusing, and we get to see Tom’s extend-o-neck again.
Invention exchange: Joel: The radio arm-saw; a circular saw attached to a remote control car. The Mads: Dr. F is attached to a baritone sax. This is a great exchange on both sides; Joel gets to do a ‘Loony Toons’ style gag, and Dr F’s is just weird as all get-out.
Another Serial! This one is the Phantom Creeps staring Bela Lugosi.
They do the cast list in their Lugosi voice.
Crow (as Lugosi looks at a skull): “Maybe I shaved him too close…”
Lugosi gives some particularly naked exposition here.
Thug (on the robot): “I don’t see what good it’ll do, the cops’ll never let anything like that walk down the street.”
Crow (as Lugosi): “Shut up, it just plays tapes!”
Hey, is this the first mention of Richard Kiel? Kiel will show up with some regularity later on.
Rather ridiculous bit where Lugosi is so busy doing a villain speech he doesn’t notice the robot is trashing the room.
Lugosi’s ‘wife’ shows up (this is a rather interesting and humanizing element in a serial; they generally didn’t grant their villains much of a life outside of conquering the world).
They do the Lugosi voice ever for characters besides Lugosi!
Lugosi’s invention really isn’t that great…
Lugosi is kind of inconsistent here…this really isn’t a very good script even for a serial.
Rather ridiculous bit where Lugosi tests his invisibility belt and it doesn’t work.
Crow: “Turn the dial on the electric dance-belt and pick up my manhood, it’s under the chair.”
Now it works! Well, you can still see an animated blur where he is, so it’s not that great.
Crow (As the robot): “If you guys don’t mind, I’ve got a Michilin Man reading in an hour.”
Good, Lugosi got rid of his goofy beard; it really didn’t suit him.
Servo: “I just love informing on people.”
Lugosi: Pick up that man!”
Henchman: “What, do you mean give him a ride?”
Servo: “No, ask him out, what do you think I mean?”
Okay, that was really confusingly edited sequence; basically Bela’s car and another, random car ran off the road and Bela’s car exploded (he’s fine, though).
The origin of the ‘How fortunate, that simplifies everything’ line.
Lugosi comes up with a rather ill-conceived plan to incapacitate his wife. It hits the pilot instead.
Oh, for the days when the standard reaction to a crashing airplane was to grab a parachute and jump.
First Host Segment: Bela’s Okay Discoveries. Joel flubs his lines, there’s not much to this one, except for Tom and Crow’s accents. Also at the end for Dr. F taping his head back on.
Okay, now Jungle Goddess, staring George Reeves in his pre-Superman years.
Crow: “Enjoy the only exterior shot.”
Fintuzler again! What is that?
Look, I know you had to have a song in movies back then, but was it really a good idea to open with it? It doesn’t exactly grab the audience; maybe they were giving the audience time to come in.
Bob here flirts with the singer.
Servo: “Hey, did you take my red underwear with the big ‘S’ on it?”
Bob tries to convince Mike (George Reeves) to go after the lost girl for the reward (no, not that kind of reward).
Rather over-powered binoculars (they can see animals clearly form the air, and from a side perspective at that).
Servo: “Come clean with me Frank, tell me you haven’t had the urge to ram this baby into the ground.”
And they land in the jungle.
Joel (over a snake): “Hi, I’m Satan, enjoy the film.”
The natives close in…
And Bob immediately shoots one of them on sight; they get captured.
Cut to our heroine, the titular ‘goddess’ who is with her personal servant/friend, whom she’s teaching spelling.
She balls our heroes out and puts them on trial. Mike is pardoned, Bob is sentenced to death.
Bob: “I’ve been in better jails in my life.”
Joel: “That’s nothing to brag about, Bob.”
Mike is frankly being pretty insensitive here, reminding Bob about how this whole thing is his fault.
Second Host Segment: The different scopes; it’s very funny, especially Tom and Crow’s appropriate little sketches. It gets weirder and weirder as it goes on. My favorite is the ‘High-Powered-Scope-Scope, just for Servo’s dialogue.
Girl invites Mike into her tent to talk.
So, wait, the natives would treat them like gods if they just stood there and been nice, but when they demonstrate they have the power to instantly kill them they are shown to be mere mortals?
Back story. About what you would expect.
Servo (as old lady goes on and on): “My skull’s starting to hurt, could you clam up?”
Crow: “Uh, when you were in flight school, did they teach you how to scream?”
Servo (as the plane crashes): “So do you want to tell them or should I?”
Yeah, she was the only survivor…and completely unharmed, barely ruffled…right.
Crow does his ‘kitty’ bit over a lion.
Crow (as natives): “She thinks we speak English.”
Joel (ask Mike): “Does this story have a point?”
They plan their escape.
Mike (on his plane): “It’s about a mile from where your plane crashed.”
Crow: “Must be the accident zone.”
Greta: “Obey my every command, no matter how strange it may seem.”
Joel: “Oh wow!
Greta comments that she doesn’t like Bob, leading Mike to defend him. Uh, I really hope she doesn’t like Bob primarily because he shot a guy.
Fade away, open on the guys standing around…
Tom: “That was incredible.”
And Bob is still just thinking about money! Is anyone that stupid and paranoid.
Mike gets to eat with the girl, Bob with her servant/friend.
Wait, a tribe that lives in the jungle doesn’t like the jungle at night!?
The origin of the ‘hamburger and nice French-fried potatoes’ line!
Mike: “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.”
Crow: “Hey! You’re in luck!”
(turns out he is! Well, Zebra anyhow)
And Bob takes advantage of servant/friend’s limited English to make fun of them. Why don’t we want him to die again?
Servant/friend: “Why everyone say you white devil?”
Tom: “Because I kill indiscriminately.”
Joel (on the ore Mike’s found): “It saps all your power if you’re a visitor from another planet.”
And they make plans to strip mine the jungle…if they get out alive. Truly it was a different time.
Bob: “I’d stake my life on it.”
Crow: “That’s already in the kitty Bob.”
And Bob wants to dump the girl and make a break for it. Man, this guy is so cartoonishly evil it’s a surprise anyone ever took up with him.
Man, Bob is as stupid as he is evil.
Tom (as characters defend Bob): “Yeah, he’s not thinking as clearly as when he shot that guy.”
And Mike and Bob fight over the one gun left. Joel and the bots make with the Superman jokes. “Far beyond mortal man, eh?”
Crow (as native): “Guano hit fan!”
And Bob accidentally shoots another guy!
So, wait, they take Bob but not the native friend girl? Why do they have to leave her again?
Tearful departure scene…
Tom: “Hey, Bob, there’s a living thing, why don’t you swing into high and kill it?”
Crow: “Hey, Bob, when you were a kid and you had pets did you kill them? And what did happen to your sister?”
The natives are clearly just standing still for about a half-second before someone yells action and they start running!
Third Host Segment: The White Devils visit. Mike Nelson and Jim Mallon are the devils (Mallon is also Gypsy). They’re hilarious! The sketch is a bit preachy, but still funny. The running gag with Jim’s gun is particularly good. The view screen now slides back up afterwards.
Tom says it perfectly: “Let me get this straight; you survived in the jungle for six years and now you’re telling me you just sprained your ankle on a piece of moss? Get real!”
Bob’s actually kind of reasonable here; frighteningly enough.
Bob: “White Goddess having trouble?”
Crow: “White Fascist getting smart?”
Crow (on a bunch of natives around a fire): “And there on handle was spear!”
Greta is primarily concerned with women’s hats?
Rather over extended scene of Mike being the only one awake…
Cut to them fighting; the must have cut a rather lengthy scene here. Anyway, Bob wins and takes the gun and compass.
Joel: “I have a confession to make; we lost the trail about four miles back.”
Guys, this is not the time to have a moment!
Bob panics and shoots at a coconut…
He panics some more…
And he attacks the good guys…
And the witch-doctor throws a spear into Bob, Mike shoots him.
“Poor devil?” Well, Mike’s half right…
Mike tells her about Colorado, all Greta can think about is hats!
Final Host Segment: My White Goddess; the sitcom sequel to Jungle Goddess. “Bill? Did he go on another wild killing spree?” It’s pretty funny, especially Tom Servo as Bill, the trigger happy friend. And this is the origin of Crow’s odd nickname, Art (Joel refers to him as ‘Art Crow,’ like in “The Honeymooners”).
And letters; again, it kind of interrupts the pace of the final host segment.
Movie Quality Rating:
1. The Crawling Eye
2. The Black Scorpion
3. Mad Monster
4. Rocketship XM
5. Moon Zero Two
6. The Crawling Hand
7. Jungle Goddess
8. The Corpse Vanishes
9. Untamed Youth
10. The Slime People
11. Project Moonbase
12. The Sidehackers
13. Women of the Prehistoric Planet
14. Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy
15. Robot Holocaust
16. Robot Monster
Conclusion: A rather lame short, a kind-of-fun, but lazy and way outdated movie, and decent but not spectacular riffing and host segments make for a solid, but middling episode.
Final Rating: 6/10.
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