I really didn’t expect much from this episode; in the ‘Amazing Colossal Episode Guide’ (from now on, I’m just calling it the ’Episode Guide.’ Yes, I’m lazy; can’t do anything about it), they claim to not remember a thing about the episode, and I only rarely hear about it elsewhere (until recently I generally confused it with ‘Project Moonbase’). I must say, though, this was one which surprised me a bit; it’s a kind of fun movie, in a sixties way (which means there are annoying dance scenes, weird fashions, and everything is just generally goofy). The riffing is surprisingly good; quite a few good riffs in this one.
The basic plot (as far as I can remember) is that in The Future, on the Moon, our rough, former-explorer-turned-salvager hero takes an actually rather interesting job from a patently evil tycoon (is it naïve of me to suspect that most real life tycoons are not neutral-evil?) to crash an asteroid on the Moon so that he can harvest its valuable ore. Things are complicated by two female characters (I’m going to be generous and assume that some scenes got cut here and that they are introduced in a better fashion than we see here, because I could not keep track of them at ALL as presented; mostly it’s the fact that the one girl’s appearance changes every single time she shows up!); one is a female cop (I didn’t realize this until her final scene), the other is the sister of a miner who has disappeared. Surprise, surprise, he was murdered by the evil tycoon so he could land his asteroid on his land. It’s kind of a western-in-space deal, especially with the ‘claim-squatters’ thing. In the end, the cop-girl is killed, the villains are killed (most of them quite unnecessarily), and hero and sister-girl return to the Moon, eagerly anticipating wealth and sex (hey, throw a little power in there and they’ll have all the roots of evil in one nice package).
Like I said, the riffing is pretty good here, with a number of very sharp lines. They are definitely improving with time. The host-segments are only so-so, though; amusing, but not really hilarious or clever. So, a surprisingly good episode all around.
Thoughts while Watching;
Opening: Why are the bots wearing bathrobes? And what does Joel mean that he’ll be eating vicariously through us?
Invention Exchange: Joel has a food-teleporter; pretty good. Mads; celebrity toothpaste. More icky than funny, but not bad.
The movie opens with cartoon-credits and a theme song.
Servo: “Titles by Mrs. Greedie’s third grade.”
Joel gets up and starts dancing.
During the credits, there’s a weird little cartoon of a Russian and American Astronaut fighting over who gets to put their flag on the moon. Then they notice a new international moon club. It’s kind of weird. The song is pretty annoying, though.
Joel: “Uh, Huston, I just spotted an animated cartoon on the surface of the moon.”
Finally the movie proper begins.
Crow: “Uh, Huston, our central air is here, but they didn’t send the duct-work, over.”
Man, this movie is boring so far.
Servo: “It seems like a waste of cargo space to bring along a conga-band.”
For goodness sakes! We just spent about five minutes watching a guy walk around silently in space and do stuff which we have no idea what it is; this makes for a very boring experience.
You know something? I frankly hate the sixties.
‘Moon-dollars’? Come on!
Joel tires to peak over the strategically-placed shower-covering! Wow!
Heroine walks in on hero when he’s naked. Incidentally, what the hell is the deal with her head-gear? She looks like she’s wearing half of a cheap Star-Wars Halloween costume.
Joel: “They dress their stewardesses like Nazis!”
The guys are all facing AWAY from the in-flight movie!
Pretentious philosophical mussing out of nowhere.
Servo: “In the future, bras will grow on the moon.”
Naked exposition.
Joel: “Uh, you’re almost walking off the set…”
Frankly, it does look like that; I hope they weren’t THAT cheap.
First Host Segment: Tribute to Neil Armstrong. It’s mildly amusing.
Weird dance scene.
Lots of ‘atmosphere’ jokes.
Servo: “Moon Zero Mostel.”
I don’t think it looks like him, but alright.
What the…the guy calls him on the phone from about five feet away, and then the hero breaks the phone (on his end) so as not to answer it. That seems like kind of an empty, petty gesture, all things considered.
Hero: “Convince me!” (to go see the bad guy)
(henchman unzips his jacket)
Crow: “I’m convinced! Oh, it’s a gun…”
So, this guy can just pull a gun on someone in the middle of a fancy club?
Weird Monopoly game. Moonopoly. Man, give me a break.
Servo: “Fourth floor, tyrannical tycoons, loose women…”
Evil guy tries to get the hero to help him; sets up the plot. The hero is supposed to crash an asteroid on the moon so he can get the valuable gems inside. It’s not really a bad plot, it must be said. I’m actually interested in the movie now.
Woman: “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.”
Servo: “Everyone says that, but no one ever tells me the other way!”
The characters look SO goofy in their space-suits! Especially the thug guy.
Girl with weird hat has seemed to disappear…unless that one girl is her; but frankly, I can’t tell.
Servo: “Will you turn off ‘Peter and the Wolf,’ please.
Crow (imitating British guy): “It’s the closest approach since I grew my bushy, wushy sideburns.”
What-the…weird scene here of some people coming back, but I don’t know who they are. I think it’s just an excuse to show those stupid dancers again.
Frankly, I can’t keep track of these characters; heroine girl’s hair changed completely! Look, people, if you want people to be able to keep track of characters, don’t alter their appearance each time they show up!
Girl with other hat is probably evil; she’s giving off that vibe.
Second Host Segment: Games of the future. “’Sorry’ will seem to be the hardest game.” Joel makes Crow and Servo do ‘Rock-em-sock-em-robots’ one of the few times Servo’s extendo-neck is scene. It’s weird and kind of random, but Crow’s boxer-talk in the theater afterwards is funny.
Crow: “In space, no one can hear you yawn.”
They kind of skipped some stuff here, which is fine with me. I think hero guy is still on it…yep, there he goes, he’s fine.
Now they’re back on the moon. More bad dancing. I hate the sixties.
Guy agrees to help girl.
Hero: “It’s only a three-day trip, I’ll be back in time.”
Crow: “That’s what the Skipper said.”
Bad fight scene. I guess the guy turned off the gravity, but it just looks really stupid. I mean, really stupid; they just slowed everything down.
Now they’re off looking for the girl’s brother. Not as interesting as the other plot. Of course, if I’m following this, that plot has been pretty well resolved.
The moon-car is kind of cool. It looks a little too much like the Wiener-Mobile, though.
And her hair is completely different now! What the hell?
Joel: “I know it’s a little rough now, but it’ll be better when we fall in love later in the picture.”
Back-story. Not very interesting at all.
Crow: “Okay, you’re twelve, I’m a hundred, I get it, already!”
Servo (on the hero): “You ever think about renting out your forehead for advertising?”
Really, this guy could play a Metalunan without any make-up! (If you don’t get that, wait a few years till I review “MST3K; the Movie”…or just go watch it now)
Joel: “Now, just how disappointed would you be if you never saw your brother alive again?”
They find the brother just a skeleton in his spacesuit. It’s a pretty cool-image, all things considered.
Bad guys attack. Action scene which is kind of hard to follow, mostly involves people’s suits getting punctured.
They steal the bad-guy’s moon-car. Which looks EXACTLY like the other one.
Segment Three: Servo and Crow discuss the women in the movie; they disagree over which one they prefer. I must say, I agree with Crow, but I generally prefer the good-girls. Then Joel turns off the gravity, like in the movie. It’s not as funny as Crow and Servo’s opening discussion. Joel’s ending bit is pretty good, though.
Pseudo-tension. Crow is envious of the guy.
What the…why is he naked (or close enough)?
Now she takes off her clothes.
Girl: “If it gets any hotter, I’ll have to take the rest of it off.”
Joel: “Pray for heat.”
Incidentally, why is the car called “Moon Fargo?”
Crow (as the car blows up): “Wait, the jazz combo was in there!”
Wait, so girl in skull-cap is a cop? I can’t keep these characters straight!
So, the plots are coming together.
Cop-girl gets shot in duel.
Villain: “Harry, shoot the young lady.”
Crow (as Harry): “Uh, which one?”
Joel (as villain): “The one that’s not dead, idiot!”
What the…where did Servo go? He just comes in after the commercial from the other side of the theater.
The sound-effects and music in this film are really annoying!
The villain gets his helmet melted.
Sidekick shoots thug. Was that really necessary? He wasn’t really a threat at the moment.
Hero leaves villains to horrible deaths. But, it’s alright, they’re the bad guys.
Crow (as the sidekick): “Wow, apparently, I’m dead.”
By the way, the whole cartoon at the beginning had NOTHING to do with the film, even in terms of foreshadowing the themes; there was no east-west conflict or anything.
Final Host Segment: Good-thing, bad-thing about the movie for ram-chips. Gypsy is there too! Wait, Crow doesn’t get his ram-chip! Gypsy gets one for saying ‘Richard Basehart.’
I actually enjoyed that movie a lot more than I expected; it’s kind of fun, in that cheesy, sixties way.
Movie Quality Rating:
1. The Crawling Eye
2. Mad Monster
3. Moon Zero Two
4. The Crawling Hand
5. The Corpse Vanishes
6. The Slime People
7. Project Moonbase
8. Women of the Prehistoric Planet
9. Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy
10. Robot Holocaust
11. Robot Monster
Conclusion: Good riffing (for season one), and a reasonably watchable and enjoyable movie make for a surprisingly enjoyable episode.
Final Rating: 7/10.
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