Okay, Women of the Prehistoric Planet. I was kind of looking forward to this one, as it was actually the last episode recorded for season one, and the episodes of season one tended to improve as they went along (no, I have never heard any reason whatsoever why this one was broadcasted fourth if it was the last one done).
As such, I’ll admit I was rather disappointed. The episode is mildly amusing, but their jokes are kind of minor and rarely made me laugh, though they kept it amusing. This one had no serial, which I think is kind of a shame since I think a nice dose of ‘Commando Cody’ would have made this one go down a little easier. The movie is kind of fun, but padded out a lot, hard to follow, and has WAY too many scenes with an extremely annoying comic relief guy.
The plot basically is that in The Future a convoy of ships is going…somewhere faster than light (sort of like in ‘Planet of the Apes’) and there are some minor racial conflicts with ‘Centaurians’ (read; Asians). This is all very poorly set up, partially because they don’t explain why they’re out there (at least that I can remember), and partially because the commander mumbles his lines horribly.
Anyway, one of the ships crashes when the Centaurians rebel, and there are only four survivors (including a romantic couple). The other ship decides to defy orders and turn back to get them (by the way, since they make a lot of how different the time passes on the ship and on earth, how are they getting these orders?). They land, have some lame but kinda-fun adventures, one of the female crew members meets a local and falls in love with him, decides to stay, it turns out the local is the son of the crew that crashed earlier, since eighteen years have passed in the time it took them to get back there.
This brings up the question of if they knew eighteen years had passed (and they did), why did they bother coming to save them? If they’re alive, they’ll have pretty much settled in, but more likely they wouldn’t be, so what’s the point?
Still, it’s not a total waste; the exploring the planet stuff is kind of fun, if lame, and an aging John Agar is one of the astronauts. Agar will appear in several Mst3k episodes, mostly as the annoying romantic lead, but he’s such a superstar (in this kind of movie, anyway) that’s it’s always nice to see him (even if we generally hate his characters).
Pretty funny invention exchange for the Mads; The fast food restaurant that doesn’t cook its meat. “If you listen you can hear it moan.” (Incidentally, this is the first ‘jingle’ of the show’s run).
‘Creature from the Black Lagoon’ Music over the opening credits. This was used a LOT as stock music. You know, if you’re going to use stock music, don’t use a famous score.
Woah, John Agar looks a lot older in this than I’m used to seeing him, but there’s no mistaking that Voice; that smarmy, self-righteous VOICE!
The commander mutters all the time; he sounds like he’s drunk.
I like Joel playing with the switches.
I just noticed that Agar sounds a little like John Wayne, only more annoying.
“We’re gonna crash into a Universal Picture!” – Tom
“Filmed on location in Tommy Ronick’s front yard.” – Joel
Annoying Comic Relief Guy. I hope he gets killed.
“I’m resetting the controls so they crash into the Prehistoric Planet!” – Joel, as he fiddles with the dials.
Joel is up and about a lot in this one; he just hugged the commander (really!).
Annoying Comic Relief Guy again (ACRG).
These actresses are terrible, even for a movie like this!
First Host Segment; shows exo-pincers, which a long time later would show up in the movie as the manipulator arms. That’s Mike Nelson’s very first role as the satellite, btw. The host segment is pretty funny, but a little longer than it needed to be.
Fist fight! The girl just kind of sits there…
No, wait, she’s got a gun…she shot him…I think he was supposed to be her brother, so it’s dramatic. Except, of course, that they did a really poor job of setting this whole plot conflict up. I still have no idea what a ‘Centaurian’ is, except that they’re played by Asians.
Wait, no life visible? What about all those plants?
“Ferocious beasts”? YOU JUST SAID THERE WAS NO LIFE, YOU IDIOT!!
Incidentally, how do idiots like these CR guys get jobs on a spaceship? I wouldn’t trust them to open the garage door.
Hey guys, see those trees? I think that is indicative of life.
Random guy: “Say doc…”
Crow: “Do you think I’ll be offed first?”
Okay, so I think they’re saying that it took them three months to get back to where their friends crashed, which translates to eighteen years on the planet. So, again, what was the point of going back?
Ah, birds, I think that means there is life there.
Hey, Giant Lizard, Creature of the Black Lagoon music again, and standard slurpasaur roar! I would match a scene like that against anything Hitchcock or Welles ever did for pure entertainment value.
By the way, I think we can officially say that there is life on this planet.
Lame as this movie is, I always like these ‘exploring the planet’ scenes that are in all of these (substitute ‘lost world’ or ‘mysterious cavern’ for planet for the appropriate movie).
Commander guy is mumbling so badly I had to rely on the clichés in his dialogue to figure out what he is saying.
Second host segment: the host segments in this one are a bit more active than the usual for the first season. I love the manual translated for the Korean. “Clip red wire likes you best with firm hand and kind heart.”
My god, that was a fake snake shot!
Gratuitous girl-falls-into-water scene!
By the way, that is one of the most un-natural-looking pools I have ever seen.
So, these morons don’t notice the dead snake pinned to the tree by a crossbow bolt? Oh, there they go. Still, if I was ever lost in the jungle, I would not want them looking for me.
The origin of ‘Hi-Keeba!’ This became one of their most famous running jokes through the series.
ACRG: “I almost knocked my brains out!”
Crow: “Sure you didn’t succeed?”
All (to ACRG): “SHUT UP!!!” I don’t think there is anyone who ever watched the film who didn’t concur.
Joel is trying to cover his mouth to shut him up; can’t reach, unfortunately.
“Have you met Steve, my monkey?” – Joel
Wait a second; this pool of acid is about seven foot square; why don’t they just walk around the thing instead of crossing the log? I’m not exaggerating; you can see an easy path around it clearly in the shot. Joel even points it out!
Pretentious speculation by Agar.
Every crosses easily except the guy who was supposed to die. He dies basically because he was supposed to; again, it’s not a big pit at all and everyone else takes about a second to cross. (by the way, the answer to Crow’s earlier quip is ‘yes’).
“You two disposable characters wait here.” – Joel
“That’s his sternum! Don’t touch it!” – Joel
The guy screams in agony and our heroes just STAND THERE wondering what he’s screaming about.
Large hopping spider puppet! Hilarious!
“Well, don’t everyone be so sad.” – Crow at their blasé reaction to the random guy’s death.
Twice Crow calls one of the guys ‘Johnny Longtorso.’ The name would later appear as an invention exchange.
So she slaps the nice savage guy because he had to undress her to save her? This after he has saved her life and been completely nice to her. Frankly she deserves it when he slaps her right back.
I like Joel walking around muttering like the characters.
Why the heck is this girl attracted to ACRG? Why would any woman…any human being be in at all attracted to him? Why would any sentient being not be completely and utterly repulsed by him?
Third Host Segment: Servo mentions Kierkagard! (my sister loves him). “He would cut the blue one, then if he was still alive he would cut the green one.”
Over-long romantic food montage (look, just trust me on this one). Chimpanzee companion, the whole ‘Tarzan’ deal.
“Wait a minute; whose legs are whose there?” – Crow
Blah, blah, lovers fight for no reason, blah, blah, they make up.
Fine, you’re in love, we GET IT!!
More ‘Creature From the Black Lagoon’ music as savages attack (Wait, where the hell did they come from?)
“Those, ladies and gentlemen, are the planet’s fiercest warriors. Pathetic.” –Crow as heroic savage effortlessly deals with the bad savages.
Good savage shot by ‘civilized’ astronauts, blah, blah.
Girl runs out of the ship before the take off, of course.
Volcano erupts for some pseudo tension.
Big surprise; girl is commander’s daughter. I figured that out about ten-minutes into the film, when they were discussing how ‘no one knows who her father is, and on an unrelated note, the commander spent a lot of time with her mother beforehand.’ The sad thing is that if I cared I would probably be even less surprised.
Cheesy take off scene!
And tension milked, the volcano stops IMMEDIATLY.
In the end, the girl and the hero savage stay behind on the planet.
There really was only one woman of the prehistoric planet, and since she was an import, I don’t think she really was ‘of’ the planet.
And the big twist? The planet was a prehistoric earth and the girl and the savage guy were Adam and Eve! Blah (and again, if this was the point, were did the other savages come from?).
Servo’s head falls off! I think that might be the first accidental drop.
Letter refers to Robot Holocaust; six episodes down the line. And ‘The Corpse Vanishes,’ the next episode.
Conclusion: a rather disappointing episode with an over-long movie punctuated by bits of amusing idiocy and decent host segments.
Final Rating: 5/10.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
MST3K – Episode 103: Mad Monster (With Short: Commando Cody & The Radar Men from the Moon Episode 2).
Well a couple of opening house-keeping notes; first, I ‘m sorry I missed last week (just in case anyone noticed); a conspiracy of the internet services here at school and World of Warcraft served to rob me of my internet for the weekend.
Also, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m still playing with the format of these reviews; here I’m trying a new format. See what you think.
So; episode 103; Mad Monster. I wasn’t very excited about reviewing this one; I hadn’t heard much about it, and what I had heard was that it was one of the weaker episodes in the series.
Well, to an extent that’s true; the riffing is sparse and often weak; sometimes to the point that I pretty much forgot that it was there at all. The good news, however, is that they were watching a type of movie which I enjoy quite a bit; the black-and-white monster on the loose movies from the thirties and forties. This one is actually a kind of fun little movie; it stars George Zucco as a Mad Scientist who believes he can turn humans into animal-human hybrids (read: Wolfmen). Of course he was laughed at, and now he plans to unleash the proof of his theories (played by Glenn Strange) on his doubters. Sound familiar? Of course; this plot was used I don’t know how many times in movies like this all the way up to the present day (just watch one of those ‘original features’ on Sci-fi sometime. No, on second thought, don’t). Still, the film’s very clicheness adds to its charm, as does a fun performance by Zucco, who was an old pro at this.
Again, the film was preceded by ‘Commando Cody.’ Again, this is a rather lame serial, but for me any serial is fun, so I enjoyed this part; and it involved some good quips.
Below are my thoughts as I watched:
Immediately go to commercials from opening song; interesting.
Opening segment; the Mads discuss how they went mad. This reminds me of ‘Narbonic’ and is pretty darn funny.
Nice invention exchange; really had fire on the brain.
Again, no bots until the theater.
“I’ve got to get wheels for you sometime.” Joel to Tom.
So, the aliens have to reload their ray guns?
I like how Cody just strolls out after punching out those two guys.
Again, I love serials.
Those are some goofy-ass helmets the humans have.
“Earth-chair! Earth-chair!” – Crow
Hey! The moon-men’s helmets will later be found on Ro-Man!
That moon-car looks like it’ll tip over any minute.
“Maybe you could use the gun. You know, the big one that blows up things? Like moon-cars perhaps?” –Tom.
Hey, this exact same death-trap was used in Captain Marvel – they even use stock footage from that one! Lots of it! That is more than a little off-putting, as Captain Marvel is one of the best serials of them all and seeing stock-footage from that one in this one is…annoying (a few seasons down the line, we will get the mother of all ‘good-movie-in-bad-movie’ stock footage).
First Host Segment; Tom hits on a blender. Josh is great! “Nobody drinks from my gal! I’m in love and you’re drinking from her!” Classic! This one is really funny.
First film by Sam Newfield; he’ll be showing up with some regularity.
I don’t know why, but I love the way Crow says “He’ll have him housebroken soon, and it WILL be painful!”
The sound in this movie is terrible; it’s so hard to understand what they’re saying!
That’s Glenn Strange as the monster/handy-man. Strange is probably best known for being the Frankenstein Monster in ‘House of Frankenstein’ and ‘Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein.’ It’s his image, not Boris Karloff, that most people think of when they think of Frankenstein; the stiff, slow, arms-outstretched monster.
“A cure for baldness at last!” – Joel.
“Now Bing-o is his name-o!” – Tom.
Again, how many variations of this plot have there been over the years? Probably thousands.
One of their thankfully rare political jokes; identifying the wolf-men with Republicans.
“I’ve revolutionized shaving forever!” – Tom
Strange is pretty stiff, but I kind of like his character; I like those simple, gentle strong-guys.
And George Zucco as the mad scientist. Zucco mostly played mad scientists like this, although he is best known as Prof. Moriarty in ‘The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes.’ Again, he’s a lot of fun.
“Gardening always takes a back-seat to science! Always!” – Tom
Zucco is very good at these high-class, but genuinely mean characters. I like the way he casually insults Glenn Strange’s Pedro. And again, I like Pedro; his moaning that he wished he was educated is cliché, but a nice cliché.
So how does Zucco intend to direct his werewolf of vengeance? Of course, that’s a common problem in these things.
“That felt good. Now I’m going to go turn my daughter into a woodchuck.” – Tom
Joel calls Tom Crow! They seem a little annoyed.
Hey did they actually…I think they actually killed the kid! That takes guts in films like these!
So, what was the point of sending him out to kill a random person? And why did the wolf-man just kill one person?
Second host-segment; not so funny. They just talk about eating people. Mildly amusing, but I tend not to like these pure-dialogue segments, particularly this early.
Oh, yes, they did kill the kid.
This reporter-hero guy is annoying as hell. He’s been on screen for about a minute and I hate him already. I’m having visions of the scene in ‘The Shootist’ when John Wayne interrupts an equally annoying reporter by sticking a gun in his mouth. Unlikely, but I can dream, can’t I?
Oh, another thing I like about Glenn Strange; I like the way he looks around when he sits in the nice city apartment, completely ignoring what the two scientists are saying.
Thus far the riffing is sparse and mild enough to be almost unnoticeable. Fortunately, the movie is lame as all get out, but watchable enough.
“It’s injection time!” – Tom
I like their riffs trying to guide the scientist to Pedro. “No, it’s not outside!”
Okay, this transformation took way longer than the previous ones! I think I smell padding.
“Finally, I get my harmonica back.” – Crow
Reporter hero again.
But now Pedro again. Ah, better. Strange is stiff, and not a particularly good actor, but he really isn’t too bad here. And Zucco is good too. The girl, though, is just stiff.
Zucco’s yelling speech here is hilarious, especially since he’s trying to reassure his daughter.
Gah, reporter guy! He jokes about the monster to the guy whose daughter got killed. If I were that guy, I’d smash that lantern on his insensitive head.
So, why is the wolf-man out at all? Oh, he reverted without Zucco’s knowledge. That could have been set up a LOT better.
Servo says it well; “Pedro took a shotgun blast to the chest, but he’s afraid of a whip, something’s wrong.”
I love the way Zucco has to climb ONTO Pedro to give him his shot!
God, I hate the reporter guy. And he’s stupid too. “I saw another murder done the same way. Maybe they’re connected.” Gee, yah think?!
So, this guy is the girl’s boyfriend? No, wait, this guy is ANYONE’S girlfriend? I over think this romance thing, don’t I?
Oh, please let Zucco’s comments be foreshadowing! Something about “I will show you the results of my research,”
Third Host Segment; Joel switches the bot’s heads. “You turned us into mutants for a PUN Joel!” Their complaints and final decision to conquer the world are pretty funny. It is surprising to see Joel just turn them off like that, though.
Okay, there’s not a lot of time left and there’s still three scientists left to kill; they’d better hurry it up (and get the reporter while you’re at it).
Dead Meat Scientist pronounced ‘secretive’ “see-CREE-tive.“
Dead Meat Scientist: “You’re crazy!”
Tom: “Uh, I wouldn’t say that to him if I were you.”
Good advice, Tom.
Again, Zucco is a lot of fun here.
“Why does he have to kill them to prove his point? Couldn’t he just show them a pie-chart or something?” – Tom
Zucco gets a big maniacal laugh moment. Good times.
You know, where is this film set anyway? Why is there a tropical swamp-land around Zucco’s house? This looks like the set from ‘The Most Dangerous Game.’
Why was the wolf-man carrying the dead guy anyway? Wait; he’s still alive? What? So the Wolf-man attacks him while he’s driving, knocks him unconscious and carries him around the swamp a while, then drops him. What?
“You turn your gardener into a beast, your garden goes to pot.” – Crow
And they bring him to Zucco’s house. Well, this sort of blows his whole plan up in his face.
“Now I’m gonna have to kill him all over again.” – Joel.
Good, Zucco’s getting mad at the reporter (for no real reason, but he doesn’t need one). I hope he kills him!
Wait, so she can’t put two and two together; Pedro is acting strange and he was with the guy when he was attacked. This girl is dense as a black-hole.
Uh-oh, they’re leaving the girl alone.
“Hey, it’s Skipper! Dad lied when he said he ran over her with the car!” – Joel.
And now she’s poking around the lab. Ladies, if you ever stumble upon anything that remotely resembles a secret lab, don’t poke around. RUN!
Reporter: “I haven’t even started to be unpleasant!” Yes, you have, buddy!
What the…so lightening goes through the window and ignites the chemicals on the desk…nope, not contrived at all.
No, Pedro! Not yet! There’s still the reporter guy to kill! You won’t be able to kill anyone after you kill Zucco!
So, we have a werewolf who strangles people?
Why does reporter guy get top billing? Zucco is in it about twice as much (thank goodness).
Final segment: Ram Chips. Weird discussion by the bots. Really weird. This sounds almost ad-libed.
Final analysis; a serial, a fun movie, and a couple of good host segments makes up for lack-luster riffing.
5/10.
Also, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m still playing with the format of these reviews; here I’m trying a new format. See what you think.
So; episode 103; Mad Monster. I wasn’t very excited about reviewing this one; I hadn’t heard much about it, and what I had heard was that it was one of the weaker episodes in the series.
Well, to an extent that’s true; the riffing is sparse and often weak; sometimes to the point that I pretty much forgot that it was there at all. The good news, however, is that they were watching a type of movie which I enjoy quite a bit; the black-and-white monster on the loose movies from the thirties and forties. This one is actually a kind of fun little movie; it stars George Zucco as a Mad Scientist who believes he can turn humans into animal-human hybrids (read: Wolfmen). Of course he was laughed at, and now he plans to unleash the proof of his theories (played by Glenn Strange) on his doubters. Sound familiar? Of course; this plot was used I don’t know how many times in movies like this all the way up to the present day (just watch one of those ‘original features’ on Sci-fi sometime. No, on second thought, don’t). Still, the film’s very clicheness adds to its charm, as does a fun performance by Zucco, who was an old pro at this.
Again, the film was preceded by ‘Commando Cody.’ Again, this is a rather lame serial, but for me any serial is fun, so I enjoyed this part; and it involved some good quips.
Below are my thoughts as I watched:
Immediately go to commercials from opening song; interesting.
Opening segment; the Mads discuss how they went mad. This reminds me of ‘Narbonic’ and is pretty darn funny.
Nice invention exchange; really had fire on the brain.
Again, no bots until the theater.
“I’ve got to get wheels for you sometime.” Joel to Tom.
So, the aliens have to reload their ray guns?
I like how Cody just strolls out after punching out those two guys.
Again, I love serials.
Those are some goofy-ass helmets the humans have.
“Earth-chair! Earth-chair!” – Crow
Hey! The moon-men’s helmets will later be found on Ro-Man!
That moon-car looks like it’ll tip over any minute.
“Maybe you could use the gun. You know, the big one that blows up things? Like moon-cars perhaps?” –Tom.
Hey, this exact same death-trap was used in Captain Marvel – they even use stock footage from that one! Lots of it! That is more than a little off-putting, as Captain Marvel is one of the best serials of them all and seeing stock-footage from that one in this one is…annoying (a few seasons down the line, we will get the mother of all ‘good-movie-in-bad-movie’ stock footage).
First Host Segment; Tom hits on a blender. Josh is great! “Nobody drinks from my gal! I’m in love and you’re drinking from her!” Classic! This one is really funny.
First film by Sam Newfield; he’ll be showing up with some regularity.
I don’t know why, but I love the way Crow says “He’ll have him housebroken soon, and it WILL be painful!”
The sound in this movie is terrible; it’s so hard to understand what they’re saying!
That’s Glenn Strange as the monster/handy-man. Strange is probably best known for being the Frankenstein Monster in ‘House of Frankenstein’ and ‘Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein.’ It’s his image, not Boris Karloff, that most people think of when they think of Frankenstein; the stiff, slow, arms-outstretched monster.
“A cure for baldness at last!” – Joel.
“Now Bing-o is his name-o!” – Tom.
Again, how many variations of this plot have there been over the years? Probably thousands.
One of their thankfully rare political jokes; identifying the wolf-men with Republicans.
“I’ve revolutionized shaving forever!” – Tom
Strange is pretty stiff, but I kind of like his character; I like those simple, gentle strong-guys.
And George Zucco as the mad scientist. Zucco mostly played mad scientists like this, although he is best known as Prof. Moriarty in ‘The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes.’ Again, he’s a lot of fun.
“Gardening always takes a back-seat to science! Always!” – Tom
Zucco is very good at these high-class, but genuinely mean characters. I like the way he casually insults Glenn Strange’s Pedro. And again, I like Pedro; his moaning that he wished he was educated is cliché, but a nice cliché.
So how does Zucco intend to direct his werewolf of vengeance? Of course, that’s a common problem in these things.
“That felt good. Now I’m going to go turn my daughter into a woodchuck.” – Tom
Joel calls Tom Crow! They seem a little annoyed.
Hey did they actually…I think they actually killed the kid! That takes guts in films like these!
So, what was the point of sending him out to kill a random person? And why did the wolf-man just kill one person?
Second host-segment; not so funny. They just talk about eating people. Mildly amusing, but I tend not to like these pure-dialogue segments, particularly this early.
Oh, yes, they did kill the kid.
This reporter-hero guy is annoying as hell. He’s been on screen for about a minute and I hate him already. I’m having visions of the scene in ‘The Shootist’ when John Wayne interrupts an equally annoying reporter by sticking a gun in his mouth. Unlikely, but I can dream, can’t I?
Oh, another thing I like about Glenn Strange; I like the way he looks around when he sits in the nice city apartment, completely ignoring what the two scientists are saying.
Thus far the riffing is sparse and mild enough to be almost unnoticeable. Fortunately, the movie is lame as all get out, but watchable enough.
“It’s injection time!” – Tom
I like their riffs trying to guide the scientist to Pedro. “No, it’s not outside!”
Okay, this transformation took way longer than the previous ones! I think I smell padding.
“Finally, I get my harmonica back.” – Crow
Reporter hero again.
But now Pedro again. Ah, better. Strange is stiff, and not a particularly good actor, but he really isn’t too bad here. And Zucco is good too. The girl, though, is just stiff.
Zucco’s yelling speech here is hilarious, especially since he’s trying to reassure his daughter.
Gah, reporter guy! He jokes about the monster to the guy whose daughter got killed. If I were that guy, I’d smash that lantern on his insensitive head.
So, why is the wolf-man out at all? Oh, he reverted without Zucco’s knowledge. That could have been set up a LOT better.
Servo says it well; “Pedro took a shotgun blast to the chest, but he’s afraid of a whip, something’s wrong.”
I love the way Zucco has to climb ONTO Pedro to give him his shot!
God, I hate the reporter guy. And he’s stupid too. “I saw another murder done the same way. Maybe they’re connected.” Gee, yah think?!
So, this guy is the girl’s boyfriend? No, wait, this guy is ANYONE’S girlfriend? I over think this romance thing, don’t I?
Oh, please let Zucco’s comments be foreshadowing! Something about “I will show you the results of my research,”
Third Host Segment; Joel switches the bot’s heads. “You turned us into mutants for a PUN Joel!” Their complaints and final decision to conquer the world are pretty funny. It is surprising to see Joel just turn them off like that, though.
Okay, there’s not a lot of time left and there’s still three scientists left to kill; they’d better hurry it up (and get the reporter while you’re at it).
Dead Meat Scientist pronounced ‘secretive’ “see-CREE-tive.“
Dead Meat Scientist: “You’re crazy!”
Tom: “Uh, I wouldn’t say that to him if I were you.”
Good advice, Tom.
Again, Zucco is a lot of fun here.
“Why does he have to kill them to prove his point? Couldn’t he just show them a pie-chart or something?” – Tom
Zucco gets a big maniacal laugh moment. Good times.
You know, where is this film set anyway? Why is there a tropical swamp-land around Zucco’s house? This looks like the set from ‘The Most Dangerous Game.’
Why was the wolf-man carrying the dead guy anyway? Wait; he’s still alive? What? So the Wolf-man attacks him while he’s driving, knocks him unconscious and carries him around the swamp a while, then drops him. What?
“You turn your gardener into a beast, your garden goes to pot.” – Crow
And they bring him to Zucco’s house. Well, this sort of blows his whole plan up in his face.
“Now I’m gonna have to kill him all over again.” – Joel.
Good, Zucco’s getting mad at the reporter (for no real reason, but he doesn’t need one). I hope he kills him!
Wait, so she can’t put two and two together; Pedro is acting strange and he was with the guy when he was attacked. This girl is dense as a black-hole.
Uh-oh, they’re leaving the girl alone.
“Hey, it’s Skipper! Dad lied when he said he ran over her with the car!” – Joel.
And now she’s poking around the lab. Ladies, if you ever stumble upon anything that remotely resembles a secret lab, don’t poke around. RUN!
Reporter: “I haven’t even started to be unpleasant!” Yes, you have, buddy!
What the…so lightening goes through the window and ignites the chemicals on the desk…nope, not contrived at all.
No, Pedro! Not yet! There’s still the reporter guy to kill! You won’t be able to kill anyone after you kill Zucco!
So, we have a werewolf who strangles people?
Why does reporter guy get top billing? Zucco is in it about twice as much (thank goodness).
Final segment: Ram Chips. Weird discussion by the bots. Really weird. This sounds almost ad-libed.
Final analysis; a serial, a fun movie, and a couple of good host segments makes up for lack-luster riffing.
5/10.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
M
Last night I saw Fritz Lang's masterpiece M for the first time.
Wow.
What a dark, dreary, sad film this is! Yet, inspite of that, it is nevertheless a wonderful, engaging film. For those who don't know, it tells the story of the city-wide search for a child murderer in early-thirties Berlin. Over the course of the film we see the police desperatly working themselves to exhaustion trying to catch the killer, who, because he is a deranged serial killer with no connection with the victims, leaves practically no clue behind. At the same time, the police actions make it almost impossible for the cities criminals (who are organized in a kind of bureau of gangsters) to make a living. Hence, the criminal underworld decide to try to catch the killer themselves by lining the streets with begger spies (like in the Sherlock Holmes novels the criminals realize that in a big city the poor are so numerous that they become invisible). The film also follows a third party; the murderer himself (played by Peter Lorre).
This film has been written about extensively, and by those far more knowledgeble about cinema and German history than I am, so I won't approach it from that dirrection.
What struck me most about the film, though, was this; the question of the guilt of the actions vs. the guilt of the person.
WARNING: SPOILERS!!
In M, there is a scene early on with the criminal bureau discussing the situation. One point they are adamant about making clear to everyone is that they are different from the murderer. This was also brought up earlier when a bartender who services a seedy criminal club commented to a raiding police officer that all the crooks and prostitutes who are her patrons are nothing like the murderer and 'would make toothpicks out of him' if they ever met him.
In the end, the criminals have captured the murderer and put him on mock trial. During this, he gives a moving, horrifying monologue. 'I CAN'T HELP IT!!' he screams, going on to describe what his compulsion is like, how it torments him endlessly until he commits his crime, and how afterwards he can't even remember what he did and how he is then horrified at the crimes he knows he did, but can't remember.
This is reinforced by an earlier scene (perhaps my favorite in the film) where his compulsion comes over him. Lorre's acting in this scene is amazing; we see him struggling fruitlessly against himself, dropping his bag, gripping a guardrail, twitching and finally failing and succumbing.
But for me the most important part about the monologue is where he turns on the criminals trying him:
"What do you know about it? Who are you anyway? Who are you? You're criminals. You're probably proud of it. Proud that you can crack a safe, or sneak into a house, or cheat at cards. Things you could just as well keep your fingers off. You wouldn't need to do all that if you'd learn a proper trade or if you'd work. If you weren't a bunch of lazy pigs! But I... I can't help myself!"
This, I think, is a central point of the film, or at least the one which struck me the hardest; what Lorre's character does is far, far worse than anything these criminals have ever done. And yet, despite this, he is more innocent than they are, because he did not choose to do what he does; he is clearly terrified of himself and hates what he does, but he is mentally ill, so he can't control himself. But the criminals, the gangsters don't have to do what they do; they chose their way of life and they like it. When Lorre's crimes are brought home to him, he sobs the victim's name in agony. When one of the gangsters is confronted with his crime, his only thought is how he can get out of it.
It's true, then, what they were so determined to make clear earlier on; they are completely different from the murderer. They are worse than he is. Their crimes may be lesser than his, but they are worse men. We feel pity along with our revulsion for Lorre. We feel no pity for the criminals, as we shouldn't. Lorre did not choose to be evil. They did.
Wow.
What a dark, dreary, sad film this is! Yet, inspite of that, it is nevertheless a wonderful, engaging film. For those who don't know, it tells the story of the city-wide search for a child murderer in early-thirties Berlin. Over the course of the film we see the police desperatly working themselves to exhaustion trying to catch the killer, who, because he is a deranged serial killer with no connection with the victims, leaves practically no clue behind. At the same time, the police actions make it almost impossible for the cities criminals (who are organized in a kind of bureau of gangsters) to make a living. Hence, the criminal underworld decide to try to catch the killer themselves by lining the streets with begger spies (like in the Sherlock Holmes novels the criminals realize that in a big city the poor are so numerous that they become invisible). The film also follows a third party; the murderer himself (played by Peter Lorre).
This film has been written about extensively, and by those far more knowledgeble about cinema and German history than I am, so I won't approach it from that dirrection.
What struck me most about the film, though, was this; the question of the guilt of the actions vs. the guilt of the person.
WARNING: SPOILERS!!
In M, there is a scene early on with the criminal bureau discussing the situation. One point they are adamant about making clear to everyone is that they are different from the murderer. This was also brought up earlier when a bartender who services a seedy criminal club commented to a raiding police officer that all the crooks and prostitutes who are her patrons are nothing like the murderer and 'would make toothpicks out of him' if they ever met him.
In the end, the criminals have captured the murderer and put him on mock trial. During this, he gives a moving, horrifying monologue. 'I CAN'T HELP IT!!' he screams, going on to describe what his compulsion is like, how it torments him endlessly until he commits his crime, and how afterwards he can't even remember what he did and how he is then horrified at the crimes he knows he did, but can't remember.
This is reinforced by an earlier scene (perhaps my favorite in the film) where his compulsion comes over him. Lorre's acting in this scene is amazing; we see him struggling fruitlessly against himself, dropping his bag, gripping a guardrail, twitching and finally failing and succumbing.
But for me the most important part about the monologue is where he turns on the criminals trying him:
"What do you know about it? Who are you anyway? Who are you? You're criminals. You're probably proud of it. Proud that you can crack a safe, or sneak into a house, or cheat at cards. Things you could just as well keep your fingers off. You wouldn't need to do all that if you'd learn a proper trade or if you'd work. If you weren't a bunch of lazy pigs! But I... I can't help myself!"
This, I think, is a central point of the film, or at least the one which struck me the hardest; what Lorre's character does is far, far worse than anything these criminals have ever done. And yet, despite this, he is more innocent than they are, because he did not choose to do what he does; he is clearly terrified of himself and hates what he does, but he is mentally ill, so he can't control himself. But the criminals, the gangsters don't have to do what they do; they chose their way of life and they like it. When Lorre's crimes are brought home to him, he sobs the victim's name in agony. When one of the gangsters is confronted with his crime, his only thought is how he can get out of it.
It's true, then, what they were so determined to make clear earlier on; they are completely different from the murderer. They are worse than he is. Their crimes may be lesser than his, but they are worse men. We feel pity along with our revulsion for Lorre. We feel no pity for the criminals, as we shouldn't. Lorre did not choose to be evil. They did.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
MST3K – Episode 102: Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy (With Short: Commando Cody & The Radar Men from the Moon).
This episode is rather infamous among MST3K fandom, as it features two ‘rule-breaking’ jokes: jokes that, with the unsaid rules of the show, are unacceptable. In the first place, when a woman is singing badly, Joel covers her mouth and they mute the sound. In the second, they add the sound of urinating over two men who have their backs to the camera. Both are frankly cringe worthy.
In spite of this, however, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this episode; it certainly was more fun than its reputation led me to believe. The basic plot of the film is…let’s see; there’s a good-guy scientist who tells an EXTREMELY long flashback (I’m not exaggerating; it takes up at least three-quarters of the running time!) about his discovery of the Aztec Mummy and his fight against the evil mad scientist The Bat (whose briefly seen costume would later show up in Episode _; The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman). Finally, we get a hilarious speech by the Bat about how he has created a ‘human robot’ (a robot with a human’s head stuck in its own head) with which he will steal the Mummy’s treasure (the mummy is now mysteriously buried in a local cemetery). You see, this movie was actually a sequel to ‘the Aztec Mummy’ and they apparently decided they could save a lot of money by padding most of this film out with footage from the previous film. I’m not exaggerating at all when I say that there is probably less than a half-an-hour of new footage, including the footage of the hero standing around telling the story of the Aztec Mummy (incidentally, all his guests know most the story, so why is he telling them?).
Still, the film’s ineptness and dialogue help make it a riot, despite some long padding scenes of people walking around dark areas (old tombs, cemeteries, ect.). Joel and the Bots actually get off some good quips.
The film is proceeded by the very first short, which were short films watched before the main feature. In early episodes it was generally a serial. Here we have ‘Commando Cody and the Radar Men from the Moon.’ I was also surprised how much I enjoyed this one; the serials tend to be the least of the shorts shown on MST3K, and to be sure, this one is no match for the later educational shorts, but it’s still pretty fun. I love serials in general, and although this isn’t a very good one it has a lot of the elements that I love; gangsters, revolvers, fist-fights, and ridiculous technology. They really knew how to entertain back then; even a sub-par serial like this is pretty fun. Also, the short provides my favorite quip from the entire episode (see below).
Host segment wise, this is their first ‘story-arch’ episode, which they did very few of. In this case, they deal with an infestation of extraterrestrial demon dogs who threaten to weigh down the ship and crash it. These were generally pretty funny; much funnier than early host segments usually are, anyway. I especially loved Jim Mallon as their leader, Enoch, who is about to tell them how to get rid of the dogs when Gypsy eats him.
The invention exchange is surprisingly funny also; Joel has a great ‘airbag helmet’ which made me laugh out loud, as did the opening segment with the Mads (it’s still a little odd to open in Deep 13), with Dr. F explaining how he only blew up the Mad Scientist Competition once…okay, maybe twice….
So, in summary, I liked this episode a lot more than I expected to; the movie is kind of fun (like most Mexican horror movies), the short is fun, and the host segments are good.
Final Rating: 6/10
Favorite Quip (Short): “Oh, I thought that was a smoke detector!”
Favorite Quip (Movie): “Keep shooting Bruno, it’s gonna work, really.”
In spite of this, however, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this episode; it certainly was more fun than its reputation led me to believe. The basic plot of the film is…let’s see; there’s a good-guy scientist who tells an EXTREMELY long flashback (I’m not exaggerating; it takes up at least three-quarters of the running time!) about his discovery of the Aztec Mummy and his fight against the evil mad scientist The Bat (whose briefly seen costume would later show up in Episode _; The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman). Finally, we get a hilarious speech by the Bat about how he has created a ‘human robot’ (a robot with a human’s head stuck in its own head) with which he will steal the Mummy’s treasure (the mummy is now mysteriously buried in a local cemetery). You see, this movie was actually a sequel to ‘the Aztec Mummy’ and they apparently decided they could save a lot of money by padding most of this film out with footage from the previous film. I’m not exaggerating at all when I say that there is probably less than a half-an-hour of new footage, including the footage of the hero standing around telling the story of the Aztec Mummy (incidentally, all his guests know most the story, so why is he telling them?).
Still, the film’s ineptness and dialogue help make it a riot, despite some long padding scenes of people walking around dark areas (old tombs, cemeteries, ect.). Joel and the Bots actually get off some good quips.
The film is proceeded by the very first short, which were short films watched before the main feature. In early episodes it was generally a serial. Here we have ‘Commando Cody and the Radar Men from the Moon.’ I was also surprised how much I enjoyed this one; the serials tend to be the least of the shorts shown on MST3K, and to be sure, this one is no match for the later educational shorts, but it’s still pretty fun. I love serials in general, and although this isn’t a very good one it has a lot of the elements that I love; gangsters, revolvers, fist-fights, and ridiculous technology. They really knew how to entertain back then; even a sub-par serial like this is pretty fun. Also, the short provides my favorite quip from the entire episode (see below).
Host segment wise, this is their first ‘story-arch’ episode, which they did very few of. In this case, they deal with an infestation of extraterrestrial demon dogs who threaten to weigh down the ship and crash it. These were generally pretty funny; much funnier than early host segments usually are, anyway. I especially loved Jim Mallon as their leader, Enoch, who is about to tell them how to get rid of the dogs when Gypsy eats him.
The invention exchange is surprisingly funny also; Joel has a great ‘airbag helmet’ which made me laugh out loud, as did the opening segment with the Mads (it’s still a little odd to open in Deep 13), with Dr. F explaining how he only blew up the Mad Scientist Competition once…okay, maybe twice….
So, in summary, I liked this episode a lot more than I expected to; the movie is kind of fun (like most Mexican horror movies), the short is fun, and the host segments are good.
Final Rating: 6/10
Favorite Quip (Short): “Oh, I thought that was a smoke detector!”
Favorite Quip (Movie): “Keep shooting Bruno, it’s gonna work, really.”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)